NATO Can’t find Russian Mystery Submarine in River Thames
MI6 says entire world is threatened by this latest Russian ‘provocation’. A periscope, reported by knowledgeable American tourists as “definitely” that of a Russian submarine, was spotted outside Parliament, and under the Vauxhall Bridge, outside MI6 Headquarters. NATO immediately proposed a massive sale of battleships to Czech Republic, Austria, Slovakia, Moldova, Switzerland, and Lichtenstein. “All the rivers of Europe are now vulnerable to the Russian war machine” says NATO SACEUR, General Philip Breedlove.
Vice President Joe Biden, immediately cancelled his visit to Ukraine, where he was scheduled to dedicate a cocaine addiction clinic, named after his son, Hunter. Victoria Nuland, one of the tourists on Vauxhall Bridge, said she was “just sitting on the bridge, sharing some cookies with passersby”, when she noticed the curved-necked shaped object, “moving deliberately and aggressively in the water. At first I thought it may be the Loch Ness Monster,” she enthused. “But then I asked a man with a kilt if the Thames flowed into Loch Ness. When he panicked and shouted, “I cannae believe it, ya fat cow.” I knew then, it could only be a Russian Sub invading the UK.”
“I immediately called President Obama, and related the sighting, but he kept asking if St Andrew’s was a good place to make a speech from. He became very excited about talking with David Cameron about making all new NATO submarines shaped like Nessie, so they would be undetectable and stealthy. He described a new strategic initiative based on dinosaur-themed military bases to avoid both detection, and criticism of American military expansion.”
John McCain called for an immediate retrofit of all submarines with the Nessie stealth shape, and for immediate delivery to the Middle East and Central Asia, “where the historical lack of water, makes such sea monsters a rare occurrence, as in my home state of Arizona. A dinosaur Theme Park adjacent to each base, would provide additional cover for any Rapid Response forces, and admissions receipts from the tourist side could pay for additional munitions, while offsetting some of the IMF interest on their defense debt.”
When asked for comment, UK PM David Cameron, said he felt morally obligated to consult with the Monarchy before discussing any dinosaur-related strategic defense issues.
Meanwhile, in Moscow, Russian President Vladimir Putin said NATO’s latest accusation was ridiculous, but it had “buoyed” his spirits.
~ Daniel ODonoju
http://wp.me/p3Ertk-cU
US Strategy in Ukraine: WAR with Russia?
The attacks are against “pro-Russian Ukrainians”, not military targets, nor even the specific government buildings taken over by the locals. Apparently occupying government buildings is now a capital crime in Ukraine (except in Kiev’s Maidan). The Western propaganda is hysterically and universally and immediately Anti-PUTIN, not anti-Strelkov.
The agenda seems to be to PROVOKE a Soviet-style reaction by Russia, which can be SOLD by PROPAGANDA as “another Russian invasion of a US ally.” Despite this explanation, Crimea was re-affiliated with mother Russia by overwhelming popular support, with absolute minimum casualties, in contrast to Kiev’s attempts to re-affiliate Donbass. If Russia can be maneuvered to be perceived as brutally invading Ukraine “against international law”, NATO would be “required” to respond with direct attacks on Russia from East European forward NATO bases, which were installed with full preparatory logistics (“purely defensively” of course). Now these bases are being quietly (i.e.: ignored by MSM) readied with increased aircraft, and “symbolic” transfers of elite military units, from the Baltic to the Balkans.
Now, the Ukrainian army has been surreptitiously shelling RUSSIAN territory near Rostov, while Western media is claiming that Russia is building up forces on the border and shelling Ukraine FROM Russia.
The GOAL is apparently ALL OUT WAR with Russia and forcible retaking of Crimea. Undoubtedly with the objective of disabling Russia’s Black Sea fleet, giving NATO total DIRECT control of the Black Sea access route to Caspian Oil & Gas reserves, with or without Russian Pipelines.
US doesn’t want a cease fire, nor will it be satisfied with a Ukraine Confederation including Donbass. It is committed to military confrontation. US wants the GAS. It wants an excuse for inflating the petrodollar, and it needs cover to avoid the US economy from tanking, especially before the November US elections. It just needs to catch the public up with the decision already made.
If this is the strategy, it is becoming desperate, especially with the breakup of the junta government. The Right Wing Svoboda has bolted. UDAR has no influence. The Tymoshenko-proxy PM has quit. Now, the war will have to accelerate, and become more like Syria, with increasingly random Right Sektor atrocities, at the direction of the CIA. ESPECIALLY if MH17 is shown to be a failed US false flag.
Something will have to occur to generate sufficient outrage to start a full scale NATO-Russian war. The West seems to be hard at work in the propaganda arena. The current tack continues to be trying to provoke Putin to make a drastic move. But, so far, Putin seems to have figured that out! He is presenting HIS evidence about MH17, while quietly arming Donbass with defensive weaponry against the civilian terror bombing by Kiev in such a way as to maintain some thin deniability. He cannot allow the West to attack his flank and do nothing.
Goebbels-Kerry 1
Minister of Propaganda and Perpetual War
United Fascist State, Inc.
Pe’Po Le Pew: Something Stinks in Ukraine
Petro Poroshenko had no problem counting the votes in HIS election. He DOES have a problem with the elections in Donbass and Crimea, because they don’t support the US-sponsored coup in Kiev, which sponsored his election. Meanwhile, there is no parliament in Ukraine that has been elected to represent the local areas of the country. Rada members routinely cast votes for other members who are “absent” due to fear of assassination.
Since the coup effectively overturned the Constitution, Poroshenko has no mandate or set of laws or official guidelines under which to act, or restrain himself. consequently he has declared citizens in the East of the country terrorists, allowing cabinet members to call them “sub-human” and call for their extermination and/or deportation to Russia. He has bombed civilian targets and populations with cluster bombs and white phosphorous, against international law.
All this, with full US support for his “democratization” efforts. He had a limited chance to begin negotiations. He will shortly recognize that the “separatist demons” he is fighting are Ukrainians who have NO intention of giving up their homeland to a fascist puppet acting in the best interests of the US government, to assist their encirclement of Russia. He is apparently a president for only certain Ukrainians.
Shucking and Jiving Toward WW3: The Peter Principle in World Politics
BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA … was against invading Iraq as a Senator, against the “surge” until it was ‘successful'(and politically popular) campaigned on withdrawal of US troops from Iraq, regardless of the state of disruption caused by the original US intervention against international law. He cavalierly announced his timetable, to allow insurgents to plan ahead. NOW he wants to use air strikes and drone strikes to kill these same rebel fighters he supplied weapons to in Syria, from clandestine CIA operations in Libya, (which he illegally and unilaterally bombed under guise of a no-fly zone).
The ISIS rebels, obviously unimpressed with the lines in the sand “nation-state” boundaries created by Sikes-Picot in 1918, to preserve British hegemony and control over oil discoveries, have simply taken the weapons and moved across the border, (after using chemical weapons and depleted uranium against civilian targets, causing massive refugee relocation that will last for generations.)
This new offensive against now-well-armed Saudi-backed militias, fighting the US-installed Iraqi government, will be AGAINST Saudi Arabian interests, in conjunction with (Shiite) Iran and enemy-in-Ukraine, Russia.
The Obama Doctrine seems to “sell as many weapons as possible, to as many sides as possible, and kill as many civilians as possible, as long as US controls the oil and maintains the petrodollar as world reserve currency”.
So much for his world vision, his ability to pick and hold an ally, his military acuity… and his premature Nobel Peace Prize.
One question remains… who will he blame this on?